Long Days and Long Drives
Yesterday we had an appointment in the city to keep working on my upper arm tattoo. That meant a long drive and then an eight- hour day sitting in the chair. I love going, I love how the art on my body is taking shape. We both have a wonderful time chatting with our tattoo artist and the wonderful people in the shop. However, I am learning that even long good days take their toll. Especially when the drive back includes two fires on or near the highway, and a detour into the middle of nowhere.
Today feels like it’s dragging on in physical discomfort and mental exhaustion while I question why exactly I thought it would a good idea to schedule therapy in the afternoon.
Then, after that, I question why I think I have to be in top mental form to go to therapy. Perfectionism can really invade so many aspects of your life.
A Note on the Edition and the Classic
Penguin Vitae editions are easy to love and to gush over. The colours! The foil text! The hardcover in a comfortable size! The ones that I have managed to purchase I do delight in. The selection is even attempting to bring attention to some of the more easily forgotten classics of the past — though I will say that the line’s choices are not as good or as interesting as McNally Editions.
Before Night Falls is absolutely a classic of LGBT+ literature. It’s the memoir of Reinaldo Arenas, an important Cuban writer who witnessed the rise of Fidel Castro, and who eventually escaped Cuba to live his life in exile, committing suicide in 1990 after three years of living with AIDS. Homosexuality was declared illegal in Cuba while he was there, so he was a witness to violence and imprisonment which he suffered himself and watched his friends suffer too. Arenas also suffered for his writing, at one point having to re-write a novel twice because it was destroyed and lost.
Aging Well
I’m going to start by talking about the parts of Before Night Falls that have withstood the test of time. It’s a moving and powerful account of what it is like to live under a regime that treats the LGBT+ community like a scourge and homosexuality like a crime. It’s harrowing to read Arenas’ words on his imprisonment, and on the ends of his various friends. It’s hard to read how literature was destroyed or severely punished. Studying this book is learning what it is like to live as a person that a dictatorship is actively trying to destroy.
Aging Poorly
But…there are quite a few parts of this book that have aged very poorly. Arenas’ tales about his childhood contains details about molestation and abuse that he does not see as abuse. He has opinions on homosexuality and on the LGBT+ community that are homophobic and disgustingly offensive. He makes several misogynist statements. He does not give much space or respect to women in the LGBT+ community.
There were points where I wanted to hurl this book at the wall. I’m glad I didn’t, because there was a lot in it that is valuable and a lot of good writing contained in its pages. But it’s important to remember that classics from diverse writers have the same essential problems of classics in general. They are a product of their time and must be looked at in context. Arenas is not representative of the entire community, nor should he ever be treated that way. He is not shy in giving his opinions as if they were absolute fact. They are not. Never lose sight of this.
Do I Have Time to be Sore?
I’m trying to back to ordinary life today, but that’s difficult when I feel so sore and tired. Senior cats still need pills and errands still have to be done. I still have to function no matter how much I would rather sit on the sofa and turn into an absolute potato in front of the PVR.
